just a thoughts

sometimes you take for granted people around you. people who love you the most, people who care about you, because you think no matter what i do they will always love me, so why bother and try to impress them.

as time passed, a person supposes to develop his capacity as a human being. to be more patient, understanding, wise but sometime it only happened for some people and the other never change as if they still at the age 17 when you doing thing without thinking about the consequences.

a relationship always go through an up and down moment. some said it makes the relationship more stronger but on the other hand it showed that maybe there is something wrong with the relationship and you have to fix it. if you never do anything about it then the same thing will happen again, up and down. anger, frustation and desperate will occured until one of you can't stand it anymore or one of you just accept it in the name of something that she/he believed. so fix it, do something about it. it's never too late, you just need a courage to start it and willing to take the consequences.

you never make a wrong decision. a good decision lead you to a path that you expected, a bad decision lead you to unexpected path but it teaches you something and you became richer afterward.

i love you mom, i do and i always will

i never think about death, i mean really think about it until my mom passed away last month. Being so naive, i knew that this day will come but i don't expect it coming so soon. It should be just another peaceful sunday morning where i suppose to spend time with rafan and papa, but it turned out to be mourning day. My mom got a heart attack at sunday morning before dawn, i was there next to her until her last breath, accompanied her to the hospital, and be with her until i couldn't see her anymore. I cried a lot, until i felt i have no more tears and kept thinking that it shouldn't happened and wished that it's only a dream, a bad one.

have you ever asked something in particular to Allah? i did, almost ten years ago. He didn't give me what i asked for, no matter how hard i pray at that time. i didn't know why but i believe that it was the best for me. i still couldn't figure out why until today and the result of that prayer is i changed the way i pray. now, i always asked Allah to give the best for me no matter what it is, bad or good experience. because it will rich me in a way that He can only understand.

things happened for a purpose, like a proverb said every dark cloud has a silver lining. you may not see the silver lining now, but years a head when you looked back you will realise that it was meant for something.

my mom passed away because her time has arrived and also because it was the best things for her, me and my family. i love you mom, i do and i always will.